We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
