you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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