She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
