btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
