You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
and you fell through a lawn chair
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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