Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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