Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
