Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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