Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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