Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i would punch a child for taco bell
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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