he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
