For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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