exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
