About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
