Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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