So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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