Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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