so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
