Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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