no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
