i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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