How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize