so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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