Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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