you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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