Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
