he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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