Kiss
Puke
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sext me about skeletons
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
