she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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