My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize