I faked an abortion last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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