very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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