Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
