I puked a lego.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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