Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You are the jesus of drinking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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