I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
