I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
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Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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