id be glad to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
