Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
