Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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