This is not my ceiling
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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