While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
