if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
