she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
