everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I enjoy the company of your penis
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
