WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
