Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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