Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
