Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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