Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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