Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
