TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
