were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize