found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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