is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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