we're blogging at a bar
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
is it fun? or sober?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
