don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your penis caused this!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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